With special guest Eddie S. Glaude, Jr. , author of "Begin Again: James Baldwin's America and Its Urgent Lessons for Our Own."

​In the summer of 1997, Ben Sax, then a 22-year-old college student from New Jersey, was the head counselor at a sleepover camp in Pennsylvania. He had worked there for several summers but had not fully clicked with anyone yet. Sure, he had acquaintances among the other staff and was friendly with his campers, but he didn’t have anyone he considered a close friend—that is until he met Naomi. Naomi was the arts-and-crafts teacher at the camp. She was from Israel, and this was her first summer in the U.S. In an attempt to be welcoming, Ben asked Naomi if she had ever tried fried chicken or had a Slurpie before. When she said that she hadn’t, Ben offered to take her to the closest 7-Eleven so that she could try them. After one bite of chicken and a sip of her first Slurpie, Naomi said she couldn’t believe how tasty they were, even though she was a bit skeptical at first. To thank Ben, she made him her favorite Middle Eastern dish, an Israeli staple called shakshuka, made from eggs poached in tomato sauce, onions and spices. Ben was sold from the first bite.
 
Soon Ben and Naomi became good friends. They would hang out and do all sorts of activities together with their fellow councilors. The more time they spent with each other, the more they realized they had in common, despite their cultural differences. They shared similar interests and humor, which allowed their friendship to soon feel like family. During July, Ben decided to take Noami and some other counselors from the camp to a Fourth of July celebration near his home in Philly. This was exciting for Naomi because she had never been to the city or experienced the Fourth of July holiday before. Ben took Naomi to Pat’s King of Steaks on Passyunk Avenue and got her her first cheesesteak. She loved it. Ben brought Naomi and his other friends to spend the weekend with his family in New Jersey, a largely Ashkenazi Jewish neighborhood and introduced them to his mother’s cooking. A Sephardi Jew whose parents had emigrated to Israel from Iraq, Naomi was used to a very different kind of Jewish cuisine. She loved Ben’s mother’s whitefish salad and told Ben that one day he would need to come and visit her family in Israel to taste her mother’s red kubbeh soup, a Yemenite flatbread. Naomi loved meeting Ben’s family and neighbors and watching the fireworks with them as the holiday drew to an end.
 
Sadly, the summer ended soon thereafter, and Naomi had to go back to Israel. Ben and she exchanged addresses and began writing each other letters. The following spring, Ben found out that he had been accepted to graduate school at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. Naomi couldn’t wait to welcome him and return the favor of introducing him to her local culture.
 
Ben arrived in Israel that August and spent the first few months getting settled into his life in Jerusalem. Naomi would invite him to her parents’ home for Shabbat dinners, and he fell in love with the spices used in Jewish Iraqi food. He loved Naomi’s mother’s food. By March, Ben had a girlfriend, a fellow American in his graduate program called Jenny. Jenny and Naomi clicked instantly, much to Ben’s delight, and the three of them soon became close friends. During the summer of 1998, they all would spend their free time together exploring Tel Aviv and relaxing at the beach. Their favorite activity was exploring food markets, which were brimming with smells and tastes Ben and Jenny had never experienced before.
 
Three years passed, and Ben and Jenny completed their graduate program. Ben was accepted to a Ph.D. program in Chicago, and the couple moved back to the U.S. They were sad to leave Israel and Naomi and everyone else they had met there, but it was time for them to move on to the next chapter of their lives.
 
Two years later, Ben got a grant to return to Israel to participate in a special summer workshop for his doctoral program. Jenny went with him. He proposed to her on the plane. Naomi met them one night, and the three of them celebrated over some Malawach, Yemenite pancakes and Jenny’s favorite. Ben and Jenny got married the following summer in Chicago.
 
Jenny got pregnant a few years later, and she and Ben moved to Israel for the year so that he could work on his doctoral dissertation. They lived in a small apartment in Jerusalem’s German Colony neighborhood. Naomi, who was living in a town near Tel Aviv, would come and visit them for Shabbat. They would go on day trips together to explore the Old City. They were on a quest to find the best hummus and may have found it in the nearby Arab town of Abu Ghosh, where you can watch the hummus being prepared and it tastes like nuts it is so fresh.
 
As the years went on and technology advanced, Ben, Jenny and Naomi found ways to keep in touch. When the pandemic hit last March, they started using Zoom. Over the past few months, the families have gathered monthly via Zoom to share a meal together and hang out. Ben, Jenny, and their kids will have lunch while Naomi and her daughters have dinner, because of the time difference. Even though it is not the same, the weekly Zoom mealtime gatherings have made up a little for this lost experience. Every once in a while the families will send each other care packages with food and seasonings that the others can't get in their home countries. No matter the distance or barriers keeping Ben and Naomi, and now their families, apart, food has nourished their relationship since it began. There are some things that not even a pandemic can take away.

​Michele Ward is a pastor at Brown Memorial. I met her when she became the new pastor in 2018. This paper is about a friend she has had since childhood, and how they met. It is also about how she and her friend stay connected through the pandemic.
 
At the age of 10, the shy but extroverted Michele was a student at Elson Elementry school in California. One day, Michele went into the school ready to learn something new. She went to her assigned seat in the classroom. “I was assigned 6th grade when I was actually in 5th grade. The teacher made this mistake because I was at a higher level at my old school, so he thought I was in 6th grade because of that.” Due to this mix-up, Michele ended up being in the same class as Sophie. They became instant friends and began hanging out a lot.
 
One way that they hung out was by going to each other’s houses. “When I visited Sophie’s house in the city, it seemed much quieter and more sophisticated than mine. Sophie’s family was part British, so we would have tea and then learn how to make British food, such as Shepard’s pie and marmalade on toast. We would also watch movies together, such as ‘Pride and Prejudice.’ Another favorite memory I have was when we went over to my house and my siblings would try to join in with whatever we were doing. My house was louder and more unruly than hers. In my opinion, I think her house was better for sleepovers because it was peaceful and more relaxing than mine. Another thing we would do during sleepovers was to gossip about boys we had crushes on. That was the main topic of the night.”
 
Visiting the mall was also fun for them to do together. “We would walk around and go into our favorite stores, like Claire’s, Limited Too, Barnes and Noble, and Macy’s. My all-time favorite store was Barnes and Noble because I’m a big reader and when it comes to books Barnes and Noble is the best place to go. We also went to the food court to get food from Panada Express and Auntie Anne’s. We talked about topics like school, boys, and how our day was.”
 
Michele and Sophie also went to church together. “We would go to Sunday School with 50 other teenage youth. Then we would go to the main service with 500 people. The church service would start off with a rock band, which was entertaining. My church was casual, religious, family-friendly, and entertaining. It was also huge compared to other churches in the area. Sometimes when we were bored in church we would write notes to each other on the bulletin about what we were thinking, or we would play tic-tac-toe.”
 
They also hung out during the summertime. One of the ways they did that was by going to camp together. “The camp was called Hume Lake camp. It was a lot like the camp we do at Brown. There would be time for games, small-group conversations, and cabin time. I really enjoyed going to camp with my best friend because it was nice knowing someone was there that I knew. We were in the same small group. We would go to worship together and eat together.”
 
Michele also told me about her present-day friendship with Sophie and how physical distance affects their friendship. Currently, her friend lives in Las Vegas, which means Michele and Sophie can’t visit each other in person very often. “We both really like writing letters to each other, because not many people do this anymore, and it is fun to get something in the mail from a friend. I sometimes send a care package that includes tea, a book, a bar of chocolate, and maybe something cozy like a mug or a blanket. I have gotten a care package from Sophie that includes: a journal, a piece of art, stationery, coffee, snacks, sometimes lotion. It makes me feel really happy, and I enjoy it. I think she likes it too. We write about our lives and how we are doing. We connect with each other through Instagram and Facebook. Sometimes we share something funny with each other, and sometimes we share photos of each other. We probably Facetime once a month, talking about memories and how we are doing.”
 
Michele also talks about how her parents felt about their friendship. “I think my parents were really happy that I had such a great friend. The church was close to where Sophie lived, so it was easy to pick her up on the way to church. My parents really liked Sophie’s family.”
 
In conclusion, although it requires some effort on their part, Michele and Sophie try to find successful ways to connect with each other during the pandemic. “We are both married, and Sophie has a daughter, so we don’t have as much free time to stay in touch. Also, our schedules are different. We both have to be flexible and make time for each other.”

​December of 2019, a global outbreak of a deadly virus, Covid-19, spread and has completely flipped the world upside down. The pandemic has truly impacted one’s mental, physical, and social health. Unfortunately, quarantine has been the only solution to protecting ourselves and the ones around us. It has created a great physical and emotional distance between our friends and loved ones. As if that isn't heartbreaking enough, to add, the sanity and mental health of many has also drastically altered. The majority of people did not react well to such sudden changes. A fellow peer, Shaquetta Smith, will always remember this. “For the first time, I am experiencing the toughest adjustment in my entire life,” she said.
 
Mental health awareness has been receiving more attention than ever. Quarantine became a time for self-reflection and evaluation of one’s mental health, especially for Shaquetta. “It made me realize that not only do I suffer from mental health illness now, but I have always struggled with these issues.” Shaquetta, usually full of smiles going from ear to ear, was now presenting a more vulnerable side of herself. In a down tone, she said “It took something so tragic like the pandemic and quarantine to open my eyes and acknowledge the fact that I was never really okay.” Discovering that there is an issue was her first step to a healthier life and positive recovery. “Like others, I never fully understood the importance of my mental stability and wellness until now.” Letting out a smirk, Shaquetta adds “I guess it is better to come to terms with my issues a little later than never.” Not only has this time of distress impacted her mental health but also her relationships.
 
Relationships are one of the many aspects that have been affected by this pandemic. It has taken a toll on many platonic and romantic relationships; it was like pulling the speaker plug out of an outlet at a party. INSTANT DISCONNECTION. Friendships have temporarily and permanently disconnected. There was a loud silence before Shaquetta said, “Aniya, I went from socializing with some of my closest school friends every day to not at all. And that still hurts. The lack of physical interaction in the school building is a huge factor. In regards to my relationships outside of the school environment, I still have a few.” After seeing my genuine curiosity to know more about the relationships she has held onto, she then says “I maintain the relationships that I think are most important to me. I told myself that I wasn’t going to force any relationship that would cause more harm than help my mental health. Now I text and facetime my true friends every once and a while, just to catch up. I also interact with people through social media, like Instagram and Snapchat.” It is apparent that her mindset has shifted and now she is looking at life through a different pair of eyes, the eyes of appreciation. Being appreciative and grateful is a feeling that has risen to its highest for everyone during this time.
 
Shaquetta explains how much her best friend means to her and goes into detail about this one unforgettable moment. “My best friend, I love her a whole lot, but I don’t express it often. I am not a fan of expressing my emotions with anyone, to be honest,” Shaquetta said. She goes on to say, “We were on the phone as normal, but this felt different. Now everyone knows that I am not super emotional or sentimental, but it was like it wasn't even me talking.” Knowing how awkward it was going to be repeating the words she said to her best friend, we chuckled. “I love you and appreciate everything you have done for me. I apologize for being so emotionally distant with you because I honestly don't know what I would do without you.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was like music to my ears to finally hear Shaquetta express her feelings to one of the people she loves the most. As Shaquetta’s friend, I have never heard her speak like that therefore I was shocked. Jaw-dropped shocked. I was anxious to hear how her best friend responded. She says that her best friend responded “AWWWWW bestie, you are going to make me cry. I love you so much and it feels so good to hear you say that!” If there is something to take from this experience, it is the importance of reassurance in relationships. Reassurance is an important reminder of your love and the reason why you chose a person. Shaquetta reports, “In all the years of us being best friends, we have never had a conversation like this. And if I could thank Covid-19 for anything, this moment would be the first.” Like a proud mom, I was smiling so big, you could barely see my eyes. This touched my heart in a way like never before.
 
The coronavirus has been an uncertain and depressing time for everyone. We have all realized that we need each other. It is no time to be selfish, hold grudges, or be distant with the people that we love. Every morning that we open our eyes knowing that we have people who care about us is enough to be grateful!
 
During this pandemic, people have suffered from the feeling of loss in many different ways. People have felt the loss of family members, more specifically passing away due to the virus, the loss of friendships, and even the loss of one’s self. Despite the darkness that has fallen upon this world, there is at least one gain of insight throughout this all. Be appreciative of every blessing that you wake up to, stay humble, and embrace the relationships that even now are standing tall. Step one: look at life through a pair of new eyes.

​An unfortunate, yet inevitable, aspect of any relationship is the potential for it to grow distant for one reason or another. It is entirely possible that separation causes people to fade apart, vanishing headfirst into a void of the obsolete. On the other hand, relationships can be salvaged and remembered, even throughout an unfathomable distance. That raises the question: What is the biggest distance of all? I could say beyond reasonable doubt that it’s the realm existing between the living and the deceased.
 
Two sisters, Emma and Ava Rogers were the closest of friends in the way that only sisters could be. In one minute, they could be in a heated battle, devoted to defending their honor. In the next they could be gallivanting through the streets, talking endlessly about everything at once. Every childhood memory either of them had was bound to include the other. The relationship only got stronger as they moved into their teenage years. Emma took her sister under her wing; they were nothing short of inseparable.
 
The relationship continued to evolve as they advanced into adulthood, and this unbreakable bond was as strong as ever. That was, until the world came shattering down around them. Everything was getting increasingly difficult to handle, and Emma tragically committed suicide in 2016. Grief hit Ava like a speeding runaway bullet train. Numbness, love, guilt, and sorrow followed, seemingly ceaseless.
 
After returning home on the day of the funeral, Ava found a pack of giant sunflower seeds, and a plan formed. After a long, emotional day, planting them was the only thing on her mind. She went out into her yard and found an adequate place in the ground. She began placing each seed carefully into the soil, remembering her sister with each little oval. Finally, Ava smoothed the dirt over her newly created garden and watered it, reflecting on every memory with her sister that she could.
 
Every night she would walk out to the garden, watering the plants, using that time to hold on to her sister’s life. Days turned into weeks; weeks turned into months. As her grief began to heal, beautiful vibrant flowers took its place. Eventually, they became the tallest flowers for miles. It was a way to keep the relationship alive, even after death.
 
When the physical relationship between the sisters was separated, another one formed. Emma had a 16-year-old daughter who fell into the custody of Ava. They bonded quickly, and Ava is proud to say she is a mom to her. Her daughter looks just like Emma, it feels as if a piece of her is living on through her. Their relationship is one full of love and understanding.
 
As she said, “Her death didn’t mean the end of our relationship, I still talk to her, tell her my dirty jokes, and I speak about her and her actual life—the good, bad, and ugly.” With every step Ava takes to remember her sister, Emma’s legacy moves on. She managed to keep the relationship thriving, despite this barrier that she faced.

“Now add the butter. Good.”
 
“Can I add the chocolate, Bubbie?”
 
“Of course.”
 
I slowly pour the melted chocolate into the bowl. My sister and I were at my grandmother’s house making her famous brownies. We’d made them together at least 50 times before. My grandmother, Sybil, glances back at the recipe sprawled across her cluttered kitchen table.
 
“Wait, we forgot to add the butter!” she says.
 
“We already put it in, don’t worry,” I reassure her.
 
That was six years ago. Bubbie Sybil now lives in a memory care facility, and we are not allowed to visit her because of Covid precautions. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a couple of years ago and can no longer retain new information. It has taken a lot of patience to adapt to this new form of communication with her, particularly for my father. He had to learn a new way to connect with his mother and reroute how he perceived both his and her worlds.
 
My father, Bradley, has always been a detail-oriented person who works best with reason and logic. So for him, dealing with a parent with Alzheimer's disease is especially taxing because no amount of medicine or surgery can cure it. Dad has devoted his time to managing “all the problems. Oh, you know: Is she taking her medicine? Is she getting her bills paid? Is she taking care of her house properly? Is she being taken advantage of by somebody?” It was easier for him to deal with the tangible problems that could be logically solved rather than the ones that couldn’t. Dad still visited her frequently, but his stoic personality and Bubbie’s declining comprehension abilities did not work well together.
 
About two years into her diagnosis, Bubbie started to get anxious about little things. Most often it was her clothing. She had an odd suspicion that her clothes did not belong to her. Every time we visited she would say, “That’s not mine” or “It can’t be mine, because it’s the wrong size.” And we’d say, “Well you’ve owned it for 20 years. Clearly it’s yours.’” My dad tried to reason with her like that, but it’s simply impossible for someone with Alzheimer's disease to think logically. This frustrated my dad. His whole philosophy up to that point was centered around logic, and there was no way for him to untangle this knot. He was at a loss for how to address Bubbie’s worsening condition.
 
Within his times of distress, however, something helped him keep his composure: seeing pieces of Bubbie’s personality seep through her wall of memory loss. Her talkative and playful, albeit unintelligible, conversation reminded him that “The important thing is to have the conversation, not to have it be about anything in particular.” She still says “I love you” and “I miss you” when we talk to her on the phone. She’s always loved animals, and she still gets excited when she sees the nursing home dog that visits every Sunday. And sometimes she’ll even talk about one day baking brownies.
 
Through this ongoing journey, my father has learned to navigate the world differently. He learned a vital lesson. “You don’t have to insist on things that aren’t important. You have to insist on things that are.” We still call and visit her as much as possible (even though those visits are through a window), and make sure she’s happy and comfortable. My father is stressing less about things that aren’t worth it. He’s learned to tell himself, “Well, this is who she is now. This isn’t something transient. You can’t argue her out of it. This is how she is, and you just have to learn to accept it.”