What Igor and I both loved to do was to go to opera. When we first got married, neither of us knew much about opera because we had not gone as children and our parents didn’t expose us to that. One time, Igor was invited to speak in Austria, and as the world-famous Viennese Opera House is the centerpiece of tourism, our hosts invited us to a show. We went to a very well known performance called Tosca, and it was so wonderful that we got very excited about opera and we wanted to start learning more about it. We got cassettes back in those days, and you would have the libretto, which are the words on a little booklet in English and Italian. Igor was much more intense than I was, he would listen to the music and read the libretto. That way he would learn the words and understand the words. We learned about the music and then we would go and see the operas, and whenever we traveled we took the opportunity to see an opera in the city we were visiting.
At his Resting Shiva, the week-long period of mourning after he was buried, a man told me about how he discovered that one woman liked opera, so as he did a procedure on her, he sang opera. This allowed her to relax as the procedure occurred. Even though it was a simple and short story, remembering our shared love of the Opera from it comforted me.
In the aftermath of his death, I was in a lot of pain and despair. It was one of the most difficult parts of my life, and I felt lost. At his Shiva, many people showed up but did not know what to say to me while I was going through this difficult time. I found out that the ones that comforted me the most were those who did things such as tell me stories about Igor, and told me that my feelings were normal.
Igor became good friends with his former doctor residents, teaching them well and
treating them as human beings. There was one couple that both had different religions. The husband was Jewish and the wife was not, and as she had her first child, she was starting to think about what religion she wanted to teach her children. She liked Jewish traditions such as Friday night dinners, so one night they invited us over for Friday night dinner. During dinner, she told me how Igor would talk to her and tried to help her better understand Judaism, answering her questions about what it means to have a Jewish child. She said that Igor really helped her and made it easier to make her decision. Later, I heard that when she had her second child, she wanted them to be Jewish, and she and the rest of the family converted to Judaism.
Stories such as these that described how Igor helped others really comforted me. These compassionate stories allowed me to realize his everlasting impact on others and not just me. Although compassion and empathy are similar, I believe that the thing that sets them apart is that when you show compassion, you take action and say something rather than just be understanding. During my time of grief and suffering, the most helpful were those who took action to help me. Through the stories that showed me compassion, the people and stories encouraged me to keep on moving forward, comforting me by seeing the lasting impact Igor had on others. Without these stories, my life would have turned out much differently than it is now.
By moving past this experience, the way people treated me with compassion completely changed the way I handle tough situations. I have a friend that I sometimes visit, and she is frustrated about how she is getting older and unable to do the things she used to do. I can relate to her because I am also in a similar situation, growing older as well. Because I know what types of compassion work on me, now I am more understanding towards those around me. I listen to those when they are suffering, and when they are going through tough times, I use my
experiences to help them during their time of suffering.
Even today, I continue doing the things that Igor and I did together. I still continue to go to operas, and whenever I go, rather than making me sad, it makes me feel close to him and brings back wonderful memories. I continue with the joint love that we had, enjoying the opera at home or at a concert hall. Even though those stories were probably not a big deal to them, they changed my entire view of being without him. Although he is gone, his impact will forever live on in the memories of other people.
At his Resting Shiva, the week-long period of mourning after he was buried, a man told me about how he discovered that one woman liked opera, so as he did a procedure on her, he sang opera. This allowed her to relax as the procedure occurred. Even though it was a simple and short story, remembering our shared love of the Opera from it comforted me.
In the aftermath of his death, I was in a lot of pain and despair. It was one of the most difficult parts of my life, and I felt lost. At his Shiva, many people showed up but did not know what to say to me while I was going through this difficult time. I found out that the ones that comforted me the most were those who did things such as tell me stories about Igor, and told me that my feelings were normal.
Igor became good friends with his former doctor residents, teaching them well and
treating them as human beings. There was one couple that both had different religions. The husband was Jewish and the wife was not, and as she had her first child, she was starting to think about what religion she wanted to teach her children. She liked Jewish traditions such as Friday night dinners, so one night they invited us over for Friday night dinner. During dinner, she told me how Igor would talk to her and tried to help her better understand Judaism, answering her questions about what it means to have a Jewish child. She said that Igor really helped her and made it easier to make her decision. Later, I heard that when she had her second child, she wanted them to be Jewish, and she and the rest of the family converted to Judaism.
Stories such as these that described how Igor helped others really comforted me. These compassionate stories allowed me to realize his everlasting impact on others and not just me. Although compassion and empathy are similar, I believe that the thing that sets them apart is that when you show compassion, you take action and say something rather than just be understanding. During my time of grief and suffering, the most helpful were those who took action to help me. Through the stories that showed me compassion, the people and stories encouraged me to keep on moving forward, comforting me by seeing the lasting impact Igor had on others. Without these stories, my life would have turned out much differently than it is now.
By moving past this experience, the way people treated me with compassion completely changed the way I handle tough situations. I have a friend that I sometimes visit, and she is frustrated about how she is getting older and unable to do the things she used to do. I can relate to her because I am also in a similar situation, growing older as well. Because I know what types of compassion work on me, now I am more understanding towards those around me. I listen to those when they are suffering, and when they are going through tough times, I use my
experiences to help them during their time of suffering.
Even today, I continue doing the things that Igor and I did together. I still continue to go to operas, and whenever I go, rather than making me sad, it makes me feel close to him and brings back wonderful memories. I continue with the joint love that we had, enjoying the opera at home or at a concert hall. Even though those stories were probably not a big deal to them, they changed my entire view of being without him. Although he is gone, his impact will forever live on in the memories of other people.
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